Hapless Royals

Blog is closed

2011-04-09T20:03:00.001-07:00

visit me on twitter http://twitter.com/#!/haplessroyals

Saw it coming

2010-08-14T23:49:00.000-07:00

I predicted this on April 2nd, 2010: The Royals would finish the year 53-109.

There is still a chance that could come true. It's a slight chance, but with the way these turds have been playing, that chance gets bigger by the day.

THAT, is heart breaking.

Oh yeah.... BENCH that fucking Kila Pickering guy. Better yet, send his ass back to Omaha and call up Ed Lucas.

Kila Ka'aihue SUCKS!!!

2010-08-11T15:27:00.000-07:00

There's a reason this kid is the Mickey Mantle of AAA. Because he can't hit shit in the big leagues.

HE FUCKING SUCKS.

They should have left him in Omaha.

So.....

2010-08-05T00:00:00.001-07:00

I've been away for a while. Miss me? I didn't think so.

So the Royals still suck. That's hardly news.

Now I see everyone saying this will be THE TEAM to beat in 2012-13.

Funny, I remember them saying the 2009 Royals would be awesome in 2006.

And the 2010 Royals would be awesome back in 2008.

So why is this any different?

It's not. The Royals will suck in 2012 and 2013. People will just say it'll all be better in 2017.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Yep

2010-05-09T22:59:00.001-07:00

That about sums up the 2010 Kansas City Royals season.

I give up.

2010-04-30T17:13:00.000-07:00

This team sucks. See you next year.

Caring less and less

2010-04-21T21:53:00.000-07:00

So I guess the Roils won today. I don't really care. I listen to S.D. Padres games on the radio on my way home from work. I'm way more interested in them.

1 year later

2010-04-14T10:40:00.000-07:00

Over a year later and these guys are still talking about me:

http://www.royalsreview.com/2010/4/7/1409086/ive-abandoned-my-crusade-against

How awesome is that? I must have really struck a nerve over there for them to STILL be ragging on me after an entire year.

It's the little things in life like this that I really take pride in.

By the way, they have banned me from their website. I guess they can dish it out, but can't take it. That figures, their mom must have told them I'd be a bad influence on them.

This is what it said after I tried to log in:
You are banned from Royals Review.
You can browse the blog, but you can't participate.
I think you need a timeout.

Why do I have this strange feeling that NYRoyal is this guy:

You ain't seen nothin' yet.

2010-04-13T20:08:00.000-07:00

Today many of us witnessed the Royals blowing a 5-0 lead in the bottom of the 7th.

I heed you this warning:

This is only the tip of the iceberg. Many, many more 5 to 8 run leads will be squandered by this bullpen.

I still stick with my pre-season prediction of 53-109, but I might be a little on the high side, they may not win 45 games this year.

100% GRIT

2010-04-12T21:31:00.000-07:00

I finally figured it out. Now I know why Dayton Moore traded for Chris Getz. He is the 2nd baseman equivolent of Ross Gload. In fact, they may even be the same person. Have you seen them in the same place at the same time? Neither have I.

A 2 and 4 week

2010-04-11T19:56:00.000-07:00

So the Royals start off the season with 2 wins and 4 losses. They are currently on pace for 54 wins, just one above my prediction. I love being right.

I hope Jose Guillen can continue the play he showed today. It would be nice to ship him off to a contender around the deadline for a couple of scrub prospects and call up Kila to see what he can do with extended playing time at DH.

I fully expect Gil Meche's arm to explode sometime this year, probably with a broken humerous. It will be the one time the Royals are featured in replays on sportscenter.

If you haven't figured it out by now, this team is TERRIBLE. They are beyond hope.

Well I'll be

2010-04-07T20:47:00.000-07:00

That sure was unexpected.

They won't go 0-162 after all.

1 win down....52 to go!

That about sums it up

2010-04-05T19:11:00.000-07:00

8-4. The HAPLESS Royals are back!!! This team will be epically bad. They wouldn't even have a winning record in AAA. Hell they would probably only go .500 in Double A.

I have 1 more prediction for this year:

Trey Hillman will be offered a 3 year contract extension in early August while his team is 20games under .500 and mired deep into last place in the AL Central.

1 loss down 108 to go!!

Predictions

2010-04-02T00:00:00.000-07:00

So, it's that time of year again. Opening day is in less than a week. I really wish I could say i was excited. But, alas, I am not. Not even a little. I'm kind of excited that the minor leagues season is upon us, and my Lake Elsinore Storm start up soon (I live 7 miles away from thier stadium, and their games are real cheap to attend).

Here are my 2010 Royals Predictions.

Player of the Year: Billy Butler Should hit 30 HR's, drive in 90-100 runs, hit over .310

Pitcher of the Year: Joakim Soria Will probably only have 25 saves but that will be almost 50% of the Royals win total.

Yeah, I know I'm really reaching here. Who did you think I was going to say, Chris Getz and Anthony Lerew?

Most Disappointing Player of the year: Rick Ankiel He'll hit about .210

Most Disappointing Pitcher of the year: Zack Greinke He'll have a decent season but nowhere near last year's.

WTF moment of the year: Mike Aviles's arm will explode on a routine throw to first.

Royals predicted record- 53-109 Last Place in the A.L. Central

2010-03-21T19:56:00.000-07:00

R.I.P. Xbox

2010-02-12T19:50:00.001-08:00

So this happened to my xbox 360:

I called Xbox customer support and they told me it was out of warranty and would be over $100 to get it fixed.

So I did this:

Now I feel all warm inside.

2010 Baseball Cards

2010-02-07T19:28:00.001-08:00

Today I purchased 1 pack of 2010 Topps and 1 pack of 2010 Upper Deck baseball cards. I must say Topps has without a doubt passed Upper Deck in quality. The look of the new Topps is leaps and bounds better than the UD's. In fact, they may very well be the finest baseball cards i've laid eyes on. Ever. They are truly amazing. The upper deck's on the other hand are a pitiful excuse for what was, at one time, the top choice of collectors everywhere.

I would rate the 2010 Topps a 9.75 out of 10 and the UD's a 4.25 out of 10.

See for yourself:

(Sorry for the Mets card scan, I couldn't find any from the city of Hapless)

Let it Reign

2010-01-29T20:27:00.000-08:00

So tomorrow night I'll be taking my two sons to an Ontario Reign hockey game. They're in the ECHL which is like the AA league of hockey. I've never been to a hockey game before, but it's something to do with my kids and sounds fun. Plus the all you can eat seat in the skybox are only $25, so thats a plus.

What are the odds?

2010-01-27T22:21:00.000-08:00

So yesterday I write a blog post about how bad the New Jersey Nets are and how they are 3-40 on the season.

Tonight they played my favorite basketball team, the Los Angeles Clippers.

Needless to say, the Nets are now 4-40.

Clippers.....WHAT.....THE....FUCK???????

Why am I hopelessly drawn to loser sports teams? The Royals, Clippers, etc, etc, etc.

Worst Celebrity Picture....EVER

2010-01-27T18:55:00.000-08:00

Jesus, Natalie Maines is UGLY. I never found her attractive even when she was all caked up with make up while on stage with the dixie chicks. But now I see this picture on TMZ of her with no make up on, I hereby state she is the UGLIEST woman on Earth. Seriously, I've seen better looking drag queens. Hell, I've seen better looking DUDES.

Judge for yourself:

Natalie Maines..... Absolutely Hideous or just plain ole ugly.

The NBA equivalent of the Royals

2010-01-26T22:31:00.000-08:00

I just realized the New Jersey Nets are 3-40 so far this season.

That is not good, not good at all. That's not even royals bad. That's 2003 Tigers bad.

That's Mulberry, Kansas little league team bad (We didn't win a single game in our first 3 seasons, and only won 2 games in 5 total seasons both times beating tiny Bronaugh , Missouri. I think our best player had a 5 to 1 error to putout ratio).

That makes me feel WAY better about being a Clippers fan.

Evolution of Criminal

2010-01-26T21:30:00.000-08:00

I went to high school with this creepy bastard. Now he is a registered SEX OFFENDER in the lovely state of Kansas. Apparently he likes veal as opposed to steak if you get my drift.

Look at his pictures. Look at how they morph over time. He gets creepier and creepier as time goes on. The picture on the bottom right is his arrest picture and the one on the top left is his current one, and all those in between are like a roadmap leading you to the fucking crazy farm. SERIOUSLY LOOK AT THIS FUCKING GUY.

He was weird dude in high school, but I always figured he'd just grow up and marry a 250lb woman and have a bunch of kids and live off welfare. I never thought he'd become the poster boy for child molestation.

I love how the Kansas sex offender site gives you not only their home address, but also their work address, a map to their house, a list of tattoos and piercings, but they top it all off with the make and model of car they drive along with the license plate number of said vehicle.

So if you ever see a white monte carlo driving around Louisburg, Kansas with a license plate of 427AXB make sure you roll up your windows, lock your doors, and hide any children you may have in the back seat.

I guess I'm not Turtley enough for the Turtle Club

2010-01-26T19:45:00.000-08:00

So the big league stew blog on yahoo.com posted their Royals Blog Book today. It's basically just a list of royals blogs and links to them.

Conspicuous by it's absence was any link to this blog. I even sent them a link and a nice email asking for inclusion. Those bastards probably took one look at my work and it either A) Blinded them B) Made them vomit or C) They realized a link to this site is a lawsuit waiting to happen.

THE MAN: Holding me down yet again.

I love Facebook

2010-01-25T20:57:00.000-08:00

You know whats funny? Seeing a post on your wall that says one of your friends is now friends with some random girl you don't know... (like Dr Thunder is now friends with Suzy Q)

And then you click on the link to take you to the girl's page.

And she is BEEFY.

True story, just happened to me. An old Army buddy. Click on his new friend. She must have been 5 foot 3 and 250 pounds. Looked like Louie Anderson. Well, she looked like she may have ate Louie Anderson and had Kathy bates for dessert.

When will I putter out?

2010-01-25T20:30:00.001-08:00

Last year I made it until mid July. I threw my hands in the air and waved them because I just didn't care. I quit on them in July of 2008, I made it to August in 2007, I quit early in 2006, I didn't even make it out of April. I didn't watch a single game in 2005, quit in June of 2004. 2003 was the mecca of my fandom, I made it through the whole season, all 162 games.

How long will I make it in 2010 until I give up? I'm thinking mid to late May.

This team just won't be any good in 2010. They won't be 2005 bad, but still, 100 losses, hell, 110 losses seems imminent.

The 2010 Royals could probably make the postseason in the Golden Baseball league, though they'd probably get swept in the first round of the playoffs by the Chico Outlaws.

The single DUMBEST thing I've ever seen

2010-01-25T20:24:00.000-08:00

Payment is due

2010-01-19T21:27:00.000-08:00

Alex Gordon will make over 1 million dollars in 2010.

I wish I could double my salary while taking half of the year off with an injury, and then when I come back I perform even worse than I have in the past two years.

Why doesn't real life work like baseball?

Fan Fest is over

2010-01-18T22:54:00.000-08:00

So I see that the Big R's spent weeks if not months advertising a special "Royals Cy Young award winner" autograph session.

Then, in typical Royals style, Saberhagen doesn't show up, EVEN THOUGH HE WAS AT THE VENUE.

They reported it as a "timeframe mix up".

How much you wanna bet Old Sabes was getting a blowjob from some Nebraska soccer mom in one of the back rooms?

That would actually be the only acceptable excuse.

Wow

2010-01-15T16:33:00.000-08:00

The Royals may be even worse in 2010 than they were in 2009.

This will not be an exciting season.

I hope someone throws a bucket of chum on Trey Hillman at this weekend's Fan Fest.

How do you spell garbage? R-O-Y-A-L-S.

How I'd fix baseball (1)

2009-09-29T20:39:00.000-07:00

Reorganize the Leagues, kill the wildcard. 2 Leagues, 4 divisions. Division winners meet in the playoffs. DH in both leagues.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
American League

EAST

Boston Red Sox
New York Yankees
New York Mets
Philadelphia Phillies

NORTH

Minnesota Twins
Milwaukee Brewers
Toronto Blue Jays
Detroit Tigers

CENTRAL

Houston Astros
Texas Rangers
Kansas City Royals
Colorado Rockies

WEST

Oakland A's
Seattle Mariners
San Francisco Giants
*Las Vegas or Portland Expansion Team
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
National League

EAST

Baltimore Orioles
Washington Nationals
Pittsburgh Pirates
Cleveland Indians

SOUTH

Tampa Bay Rays
Atlanta Braves
Florida Marlins
* New Orleans or San Antonio Expansion Team

CENTRAL

Chicago Cubs
Chicago White Sox
St Louis Cardinals
Cincinnati Reds

WEST

Los Angeles Dodgers
Anaheim Angels
Arizona Diamondbacks
San Diego Padres

Fuck this team

2009-07-18T09:44:00.001-07:00

I'm done. I'm out. Goodbye.

Almost ready

2009-07-12T00:28:00.001-07:00

I'll admit it. I'm 31 years old. I've been a Royals fan since I was 9. That's 22 years. I'm this close to abandoning ship. I can't take it any more.

I live 81 miles from Dodger Stadium, 82 miles to Petco Park, and 54 miles from the "Big A". Yet, I still spend 200 bucks a year to get extra innings so I can watch the damn Royals lose. I get the Dodgers and Angels games on basic cable, and to tell you the truth I find myself watching more "free" Angels games than the Royals games I pay good money for year after year after year.

Honestly, I've had it with this franchise. I'll never live anywhere near Kansas City again, why bother?

Order of Merit (National League)

2009-06-15T18:22:00.000-07:00

There are quite a few more teams I like in the N.L. Probably because they aren't the Royals foils.

1. Atlanta Braves- Anyone with basic cable in the 80's knows they're America's Team

2. Pittsburgh Pirates- Back in 91-92 I honestly wanted both the Braves and the Pirates to win the NLCS, either way I'd be happy

3. San Diego Padres- I've adopted them, I work in San Diego.

4. San Francisco Giants- Kevin Mitchell, Will Clark, man the 80's were awesome

5. Cincinnati Reds- I thoroughly enjoyed last weekend's series with the Royals

6. Houston Astros- Nolan Ryan hooked me on the stros, their current uniforms suck balls, bring back the orange rainbows!

7. Washington Nationals- I always loved the Expos and they'd be 2 or 3 spots higher if they were still in Montreal

(The hate begins)

8. Colorado Rockies- Nothing strikes fear into the hearts of grown men like purple uniforms

9. Arizona Diamondbacks- Good thing they're no longer purple, their stadium is god awful

10. Philadelphia Phillies- I'd rather just watch the fanatic fuck with Tommy Lasorda

11. Milwaukee Brewers- N matter what league they're in, I'd hate them equally. Garbage ballpark, too

12. Chicago Cubs- If Harry Carey were still around, I'd rank them 4 or 5, but now, the lovable loser gimmick is tired and old

13. Florida Marlins- Hey Kobe, how's my ass taste? Contract them.

14. LA Dodgers- Granted Kirk Gibson gave the world one of the best world series moments of all time, but I'd rather walk in Harlem with a "I hate niggers" sign than be in Chavez Ravine after dark

15. St Louis Cardinals- Someday I'll find one of those "Mark Mcgwire replica hall of fame plaques" the birds made at a salvation army somewhere.

16. New York Mets- I would have ranked them 11 or 12 last year, but signing that ego-maniac K-Rod, made them last on my list. Yes, I hate him that much. I'd risk jail time to punch that fucker squaw in the nutz.

Order of Merit (American league)

2009-06-14T22:43:00.000-07:00

Here is my order of merit list for the American League. it;s not how good I think they are, but how much I either like them, or can't stand them.. Enjoy.

1. Kansas City Royals- Of Course

2. Texas Ranger- I lived in Texas during the 97, 98, and 99 seasons. I actually enjoy watching them as long as they're not playing the Royals.

3. Toronto Blue Jays- Its the first team I ever saw at then Royals Stadium (circa 1988) play the Royals so I have a soft spot for them.

4. Los Angeles Angels- They are my wife's team, so I stomach them.

5. Seattle Mariners- Neutral, bordering on hate

(This is where I offically start hating teams)

6. Tampa Bay Rays- I didn't hate them until the bandwagon rolled out last year.

7. Detroit Tigers- Out of all the teams in the AL Central, this is the one I hate the least.

8. Baltimore Orioles- Ugh. Even their team colors are hideous.

9. Cleveland Indians- Major League was a good movie. Major League 2, not so much.

10. Minnesota Twins- I hate them solely based on the 1991 World Series. They took my Braves storybook ending and pissed on it.

11. Oakland A's- The '89 Royals would have gone to the WS if it had not been for the Roids, I mean the A's.

12. Chicago White Sux- Shitty Fans, Shitty ballpark, 2nd class team in their own city.

13. New York Yankees- I hate them for so many reasons, Their history in the ALCS with the Royals, The pine tar incident, thier fucking fans, god what a bunch of cocksmokers.

14. Boston Red Sox- I hate everything Sox related. That stupid movie with Jimmy Fallon was the icing on the cake.

Prop 8 Stands

2009-05-26T21:01:00.000-07:00

The California Supreme Court came to it's decision today. Prop 8 stands. Gay marriage is ILLEGAL in California.

Thank God.

The bad news is, they ruled the 18,000 marriages that took place before the voters outlawed gay marriage, would remain valid. Hopefully with the rate of divorce in this country, it will be less than half of that number within a decades time.

I am elated that the highest court in the state recognized that the MAJORITY of Californian's oppose queers getting married.

Victory for what is right and moral. Now if we can just do something about this illegal alien problem, and bumbling Governor, then all would be right in the state.

Losers

2009-05-22T19:16:00.001-07:00

This team is fucking garbage. Losers. Every last one of them. 24 fucking years. 24 years this team has been SHIT. What a bunch of fucking pussies.

This is the worst franchise in baseball.

This Team

2009-05-20T20:55:00.001-07:00

Just isn't very good.

Moral Dilemma

2009-05-17T20:04:00.000-07:00

I REALLY want to make fun of something I saw on a Royals message board. It's tearing me up inside. I really really want to go crazy, but, alas, I won't. Damn morals. But if I'm lucky the personna in question will do something douchy before I forget about it, and I'll cum all over myself roasting them.

Welcome back!!!!

2009-05-12T20:36:00.001-07:00

Welcome back, true Royals!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I missed you.

I am officially the Royals Bad Luck Charm

2009-05-09T22:10:00.001-07:00

1 to Nuthin. What a fucking joke. The ONE game I go to all fucking year and these pansy ass fucking batters can't manage one fucking run to help the best pitcher in baseball. I had 100% confidence in my mind that we would win this game. Well, I was 100% something....100% wrong.

I left after the top of the 8th. First time in 30 years of going to baseball games I have ever left early. Hell, I even stay to the end of singe A minor league games, and I couldn't stomach this garbage.

I have watched 3 games on TV this year. All losses. I have attended 1 game in person. Another loss. Maybe I should just go away.

The beer sure was good in Anaheim tonight, though.

Take that, White Trash

2009-05-05T22:53:00.000-07:00

Fuck you Hawk Harrelson. Put that shit on the board, douche.

By the way, Mitch Maier was safe. Oh well, Karma wins again.

Wow, fucking wow. Did Jacobs' home run land yet? I think it's flying somewhere over Canada right now.

One enjoyable game.

I'm gonna catch a Mitch Maier Home Run

2009-05-03T17:54:00.000-07:00

You heard it here first. I, Dr. Thunder, will catch Mitch Maier's first home run of 2009.

I bought my ticket to Saturday's game in Anaheim. Angel Stadium, Section 238, Row A, Seat 21. First row in Right Field. And I'll catch it in my hat because I'm too old to bring a glove to the game.

I'll make sure to bring the ole digital camera and take a lot of pictures. Look for me on TV, I'll be the only guy in a powder blue Royals Jersey amongst the see of red. You should be able to see me, I mean, I'll be in the first flippin' row.

Goat Update: I won't make a post for every goat of the game any longer, I'll just update the tracker on the side bar. And every game might not have a true goat, so I'll just label those games as "no goat".

4/25 and 4/26 Goat

2009-04-25T20:55:00.000-07:00

The entire Kansas City Royals Offense. UGH. Only the Royals can make Zach Minor look like Tom Seaver.

Goat 4-23

2009-04-23T11:59:00.000-07:00

I never thought I'd say this. But here goes:

BRING BACK BUDDY BELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4-21 Goat

2009-04-21T19:34:00.000-07:00

Chubby Guy

3 and 1/3 IP, 4 BB, 6 ER

No amount of offense could save them from Fat Sid today.

I wouldn't have anything to write about if Farnsy wasn't around

2009-04-19T19:05:00.000-07:00

Kyle Farnsworth....man of action. Today was the first Royals loss I honestly didn't get mad about. Why? Because as soon as I heard that Farnsie was headed in to pitch the bottom of the ninth, I casually walked downstairs to change my kiddo's diaper. Yes, I'd rather touch poop than listen to Kyle Farnsworth on the mound. I could still hear the radio, but I didn't really need to pay attention because I already knew it was lost before Farnsie threw a pitch. Halfway through wiping poop, I heard Bob Davis scream, "WALK OFF HOME RUN TO END THE GAME". I just smiled. I'm a genius.

So, the Kansas City Royals are 7-2. Kyle Farnsworth is 0-3. He should just wear whatever teams jersey he's pitching against, since apparently he's just throwing batting practice. I'm Five foot Eight, 180 lbs (of twisted steel and sex appeal!), and even I think I could take Farnsy yard.

I heard Mike Jacobs is donating $500 for every home run he hits to some charity. That charity is getting the short end of the stick. If Farnsie gave them $500 for every home run he gives up this year, they'd be millionaires by May.

Speaking of Mike Jacobs, I hear he's a butcher at 1b. One could argue that it was HIM that cost the Royals the game today. Good thing I'm not one. I'd just argue it was his Home run that got them off to a good start offensively. Whatever happened to that late innings defensive replacement idea? Here's a thought, if your starting lineup is 1b- Jacobs, 2b- Callaspo, SS- Aviles, 3B- Teahen, then when you have a lead late in the game, why don't you switch it up so that its 1b- Teahen, 2b- Aviles, SS- Penis Jr, 3B- Willie Ballgame. I mean, its not like they're trying to win or anything. And how could I stay mad at Jacobs, anyone that needs that much chewing tobacco in his lip to catch a high is one bad muhfucka.

I don't know what all the hubub is about how bad Bob Davis is. I think he's pretty good. Then again I have to listen to Rex Hudler when I listen to Angels games, or Colonel Coleman when I listen to Padres games, so maybe Bob only sounds that good because of the black hole of suck I'm used to.

Well, I'm officially done eating dinner, so I'm out for now.

Words cannot describe how FUCKING AWESOME this picture is.

"Heeeeeeyyyyyyyy!!"

Dr. Thunder

Well, that was quick.

2009-04-19T15:09:00.000-07:00

Good job, Farnsie. You're the best!!!!!

Maybe I should just re-name the "goat" of the game, the "Farnsworth" of the game.

P.S. Trey Hillman...... You're an idiot.

Please God, NO!!!!

2009-04-19T14:46:00.000-07:00

8th inning.

Runner on 2nd.

No outs.

Mahay pitching.

Please Hillman,, I beg you, for the love of god, please don't bring in Farnsy. I beg of you, please, please, please.

NO FARNSY.

Sweet!!! As I'm typing this, Mike Jacobs the defense guru muffs another one.

OH NO......... Oh god no, they're going to the bullpen. They didn't say who was coming in.

Oh god. I can't listen.

Enough commericals. The parking spot. Never been there. Wonder if it's nice.

Here we go..... Oh thank god, it's Jamey Wright.

I'm done.

Lazy Sunday

2009-04-18T21:10:00.000-07:00

I plan on a nice long blog tomorrow. I have nothing to do, so why not. In the mean time, enjoy this picture:

Former Montreal Expo and Kansas City Royal Warren Cromartie won his wrestling debut in Japan. Just fantastic. Cromartie and his tag team partner, Ryoji Sai defeated Tiger Jeet Singh and some guy named Anjonosuke. Cromartie pinned Anjonosuke for the win.

First repeat offender

2009-04-15T14:50:00.000-07:00

He sure would have fit in on the early 2000's Royals bullpens.

Saved me $169 Dollars

2009-04-13T17:43:00.000-07:00

This link: http://www.kkowam.com/ saved me the money on extra innings. The radio broadcast streamed through windows media player. Its a little behind because I see whats happening on yahoo then 2 minutes later hear it, but its cool. Plus, listening on AM brings back a lot of memories, I haven't listened to a game on the radio in probably 15 years. Plus, I can listen to this at work!!! Unlike the TV package.

Success.

Dr. Thunder

Goat of the Game: 4/11/2009

2009-04-11T23:03:00.001-07:00

Was there any doubt?

Deciding Factor

2009-04-11T14:10:00.000-07:00

Tonight's game will be the deciding factor in which I either order MLB extra innings or I don't. If the fundamentals aren't there or Ho-Fuck gives up 13 runs in a 1/3 of an inning, I won't order it. If they play decent, they don't swing at pitches 7 feet outside the strike zone or 3 feet over their head, I'll spend the money and watch every game I can. They don't have to win, they just have to play like an MLB team, not the pony league team I watched yesterday.

Goat of the Game: 4/10/2009

2009-04-10T16:16:00.000-07:00

Today, I gave up watching this disaster in the top of the 4th inning. Here's why. In the top of the first. Damon on 2nd, Tiexeria on first. Ball hit to Callaspo. Instead of tagging Teixeira and having a guy on third and a guy on first, he chucks it over to first letting Big Tex go to 2nd. 2 men in scoring position for Jorge Posada. Yup, he gets a hit, Royals down 2 to 0. SHOULD have been 1 to 0. So today's goat of the game: BERT CALLASPO.

Fuck this

2009-04-10T14:39:00.000-07:00

3-1 in the top of the 4th. I can't watch this garbage. What a home opener. Good grief.

Goat of the game: April 7th, 2009

2009-04-07T14:57:00.000-07:00

Starting today, I'll try to post the "goat of the game" every time the Royals remember they're the Royals and do something completely stupid and blow a lead.

Today's winner: IT'S A TIE!!!!

Goat #1

Goat #2:

Ever seen Major League 2?

2009-04-04T23:39:00.000-07:00

Remember Randy Quaid in that movie? The guy who is full of rainbows and sunshine, sure the tribe is gonna win it all at the start of the season. Then, when things get rough, he puts an electrical tape X over the Indian logo on his shirt and turns his hat inside out and writes Indians Suck on it. Then comes back when he realizes the "mild thing" became the "wild thing" again. I have a weird feeling that's gonna be me if April goes sour. Every fucking year in April this teams makes moves that irritate the fuck out of me. God damn it, if Sidney Ponson gives up 9 runs in the home opener, followed by Horacio Ramirez being a big fat bag of suck just because he throws with his left hand, I may just be that guy. Pessimistic, no, a big flaming ball of HATE, yes.

Now, on to my predictions for this year. Now, absolutely no statistical analysis was used here. Just a good ole boy daring to dream.

Royals Record: 86-76, 1st place in the A.L. Central... Cleveland 2 games back
Pitcher of the Year: Kyle Davies
Player of the Year: Coco Crisp
Biggest Surprise: Luke Hochevar and Kila Kaiafuckspellingit traded at the deadline for Roy Halladay
Biggest Bust: TIE: Tony FUCKING Pena and Horacio Ramirez

There you have it, the least reliable predictions on the web!

Dr. Thunder

You have got to be fucking kidding me

2009-04-03T23:48:00.001-07:00

Tony Pena Jr. 2009 Kansas City Royal. What the fuck, over? What planet am I on? Is this team hell bent on putting the out worst possible opening day roster they could muster. Sidney "Pontoon Boat" Ponson, Horacio "How did my agent get me this much money?" Ramirez, Willie "Boom Boom" Bloomquist, Tony FUCKING Pena.

I'm flabbergasted. Seriously. Whatever, I'm used to 100 loss seasons.

1 week ago today, I honestly thought the Royals would win the division.

After Hochevar got sent down, I figured, OK, 3rd place is a step in the right direction.

Today, fuck it, lose a hundred and get the first draft pick. Right now, I bet you if the KC Royals played the Omaha Royals 100 times, Omaha would win 60.

Sometimes, I hate this fucking team.

Whatever.

Goin' to Kansas City

2009-04-02T23:19:00.000-07:00

It looks like I'll be attending my share of Royals Games early this year. Normally, I go in August, but with a certain some one's wedding not happening as previously thought, I'll be attending games instead.

This year I'll be going to 2 games in Anaheim. Saturday May 9th and Sunday May 10th, I'll be the only guy in powder blue swimming a sea of rally monkeys. I can't complain, though. Anaheim fans have always treated me OK. Sunday has a free mothers day pink tote bag giveaway. Well, wait a minute, I doubt my wife is going to let me go to a baseball game on mother's day. Hmmmm, maybe if I entice her with a free tote bag she'll bite. I'm afraid to ask though, because I'll probably end up looking like this if I do.

Then, later in the month of May, instead of going to a wedding, I'll be at 3 games in Kansas City. Looks like I'll see the good guys destroy the Pale Hose on Friday May 29th, Saturday, May 30th, and Sunday May 31st. At least I'll get a free Monarchs jersey on Saturday. I'll never wear it though, no one out here would have a clue who the Monarchs were.

Maybe I should have asked if they were still getting married before I bought plane tickets, a rental car, a hotel room, you get the picture. Well, they ARE getting married, just not a formal deal like I thought, they're going to the good old justice of the peace. It worked for my Mom and Dad, married in 1960 and stayed married until they died earlier this decade.

I'm not complaining though, hell, the more Royals games the merrier.

Happenings

2009-04-01T20:47:00.000-07:00

So the R's sent down Hochevar and Banny. Banny, I could care less, he's been pretty terrible for almost a year now. Hochevar, I take serious issues with. I'm all for having control over him for another year, if that's why they did it. But this is the Royals we're talking about. Every fucking year they find a trash heap starter or two and decide that they've "righted the train, or found the stuff that made him successful in the past, or you know what you got with this guy". Ugh. Ponson I can handle, but Ho-Ram I cannot. Why, oh why, do they still do this? Hopefully, the day after they can bring Hoch back up and not cost them a year, they do it. And send whichever of their reclamation projects that's doing worse packing. My bet is Ramirez has an era over 8.3 before they finally cut the cord.

Gload got traded. The fish get Ross, the Royals get the obligitory PTBNL ( probably a dollar, like they gave for Larue) and the Royals still hafta pay his salary. Nice. That's what you get for that stupid contract, front office. Try not doing that shit again.

My arch nemesis Joel Peralta got his pink slip today. Thank Fucking God. I hate that fucking guy. No real reason, I just think he's a giant tool, with no redeeming qualities. God, I hated that fucking guy.

Time to decide whether I'm buying MLB extra innings this year, or Wrestlemania. Can't afford both. I figure I'll get extra innings because I can always watch WM some other time on a bootleg dvd for 5 bucks or so.

If anyone is reading this and needs to buy a cheap sprint cell phone, I have 2 for sale on ebay. One's a smart phone PDA, the other is my wife's pink job. Follow the links:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=230334628489&_trksid=p3907.m32&_trkparms=tab%3DSelling

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=230334629096&_trksid=p3907.m32&_trkparms=tab%3DSelling

Well, that's all for today. Now that I haven't been reading the boards like normal, I have no reason to be pissy and write out a hate filled rant. Oh well.

Dr. Thunder

Roster Predictions

2009-03-29T21:05:00.000-07:00

Well, there's a week until opening day. So I guess today I will make my opening day roster predictions. I'm no professional at this so if anyone is reading this, take my word with a grain of salt.

Starting Pitchers
-----------------
1. Gil Meche
2. Zack Greinke
3. Kyle Davies
4. Luke Hochevar
5. Sidney Ponson

Relief Pitchers
---------------
Closer- Joakim Soria
SU- Juan Cruz
SU- Ron Mahay
RP- Kyle Farnsworth
RP- Horacio Ramirez
RP- Robinson Tejada
RP- Joel Peralta

STARTING POSITION PLAYERS
-------------------------

C- Miguel Olivo
1B- Mike Jacobs
2B- Alberto Callaspo
SS- Mike Aviles
3B- Alex Gordon
LF- David Dejesus
CF- Coco Crisp
RF- Jose Guillen
DH- Billy Butler

Backups
--------

C- Brayan Pena
Utility- Willie Bloomquist
IF/OF- Mark Teahen
OF- Mitch Maier

So that's what I got. We'll see what really happens next week.

Royals Message Boards... I'm done with you

2009-03-25T10:05:00.001-07:00

That's it. I am done with royalboard and the like. Fuck you clowns, I'm out.

I hate you, you bags of crap

2009-03-24T21:13:00.000-07:00

Anyone on the list to the right: Confirmed Fuckheads. Eat my shit. I'm so tired of you motherfuckers. All of you obviously hate the Royals. Stop posting on RoyalBoard, or any other site pertaining to the Royals. The Red Sox/Yankees/Cubs/Mets are pretty good. Go love yourself thinking of them.

I am so fucking tired of logging in and clicking on a link about Horacio Ramirez, or Greinke, or Bert Callaspo or pretty much anyone only to see 3 posts about the person in the title and then 6 fucking pages of the same stupid douchebags bitching about either Mike Jacobs or Mark Teahen.

Give it up, slapnuts. Mike Jacobs is the Royals first baseman of 2009. Period. Eat a fucking dick, you pretentious assholes.

Everyone of you cocksuckers give fans that post on the internet a bad name. There is a reason no one likes you in real life, and only your fuckface lackeys like you on the inter-webs. I bet you're all the type of guy who would rather stay virgin than fuck a broad that may be a 6 on a scale of 1-10, even though you're a fucking 4! Or you're the bastards that sit around pointing out everyone's faults, but yet you're the one with adult acne, back hair growing out so long it's peeking through the neckhole of your shirt, a nascar tattoo, and haven't seen your dick under your beer gut for ten years. But yet you sit behind the anonymity of the internet ragging on major league baseball players. Jealous of the money and fame they have, secretly wishing you were them.

In closing, I would say this shit to every one of your faces. And you can take that to the bank. Would you be ballsy enough to say the shit about these Royals players to their face if you had the chance. My gut says not no, but HELL FUCK NO, pussies.

The blog isn't dead, I'm just bored

2009-03-24T12:21:00.000-07:00

I swear this blog isn't dead. My hatred for all things sabermetrics will never allow me to quit blogging. To be honest, I really couldn't care any less about spring training. It's like pre-season football. Who cares? We're in 2nd place in the A.L. in the standings that don't count. Woo-hoo!

I have been brainstorming some ideas for my next rant. Basically what I've decided on is my hatred for the back-up quarterback. What? There aren't any back-up quarterbacks in baseball? Oh yes there is, and his name is Kila Kaiawhoknowshowtospellit. I don't want to get ahead of myself because I have at least 1000 words dreamed up in my head about this guy. Let me rephrase that, I like the kid, the player, but whats up my butt is the fucking LOVE this guy is getting on royalboard (from the usual suspects) because he had ONE great year in the minors. Nevermind the 4 or 5 ok seasons or the one TERRIBLE season. Ok, that's enough, we'll continue this next time.

Dr. Thunder

A call for Bobbleheads

2009-03-21T11:25:00.000-07:00

I collect Royals memorabilia. If anyone has any Royals Bobbleheads you want to sell, contact me. I have some, so don't be offended if I already have the one you want to unload.

Thanks,

Dr. Thunder

Poopy

2009-03-14T17:33:00.001-07:00

Royals - contendors?

2009-03-11T14:43:00.000-07:00

Another site mentions the Royals being vastly improved -

http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/pgStory?contentId=9316258#sport=MLB&photo=9316244

The notion: The Royals have a shot

Reality: For the first time in years, they do. By their standards, the Royals have had an active winter, and that's led some to speculate that they have a puncher's chance in the middling yet balanced AL Central. They've got some impressive young talent on the roster -- Zack Greinke, Joakim Soria, Alex Gordon (a breakout candidate for 2009), Billy Butler, Mike Aviles, Luke Hochevar (on a good day) -- and there's no truly great team blocking the way in the Central. This is not a team that would contend in most divisions --the back of the rotation is suspect, and there are far too many first base/DH types on the roster -- but the Royals have a shot. The Indians and Twins enter the season as the likely favorites, but KC is legitimately in the conversation.

Spring Training: I'm just not that into you.

2009-03-05T22:15:00.001-08:00

Spring Training is here. For some reason, I don't really care. Spring Training games are god awful. Wake me up when the regular season starts.

Interviewed

2009-02-26T17:16:00.000-08:00

Hapless Fans,

Go check out the interview I did with Royals Nation over at The Royal Treatment.

Follow the link:

http://theroyaltreatment.blogspot.com/2009/02/dr-thunder-raw.html

Dr. Thunder

Hillman makes it easy for me

2009-02-22T17:14:00.001-08:00

"He had a couple of nice ABs," manager Trey Hillman said of Callaspo. "Bert can hit. I think he's one of those guys who can just hit getting out of bed."

And there you have it folks, Alberto Callaspo will no longer be known as Alberto on this blog.

Long live Bert Callaspo.

!

Useless Baseball Trivia..... EXACTLY

2009-02-21T17:50:00.000-08:00

Royals - only one SP away from contending?

2009-02-20T10:22:00.000-08:00

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2009/writers/tom_verducci/02/18/spring.parity/index.html?bcnn=yes

Written by Tom Verducci - SI.com

As unlikely as it was to have a World Series last year decided between Philadelphia and Tampa Bay (combined playoff series won in the prior 14 years: zero), to see either one of them back in the Fall Classic this year, given recent history, may be almost as unusual. When it comes to the World Series, there is no going back, which is why optimism is more potent than Primobolan this time of year in almost every camp in baseball. Outside of a handful of teams (Pirates, Padres, Nationals, Orioles, Mariners), every team has a right to be dreaming of October. And, er, November.

The Phillies and Rays once again proved baseball's democracy, which makes it all the more difficult for teams to repeat. Of the previous eight teams to win a pennant, every one of them won fewer games the following the season (by an average of between six and seven fewer wins), five of them didn't even make the playoffs and only one of them, the 2008 Red Sox, won even one postseason game the year after winning the pennant. And the past 10 pennant winners, as the folks at Fox know all too well, do not include the Yankees, Mets, Cubs, Angels or Dodgers, traditional big spenders in big markets.

Philadelphia and Tampa Bay remain strong contenders on paper. The Phillies added about $30 million to their payroll to keep the team together, mostly because of arbitration-eligible players. And somewhat curiously, they replaced the right-handed bat of Pat Burrell with the left-handed bat of Raul Ibanez in left field -- a move which ended up costing an extra $12 million. The Rays swapped phenom David Price for Edwin Jackson in their rotation.

But when you look at the depth in their respective divisions and the good fortune they enjoyed last season in pitching health, you begin to understand why repeating is so difficult. The 2008 Phillies and Rays were classic examples of The Schilling Theory: The team that gets the most starts out of its projected rotation has the best shot at winning. Philadelphia's top four starters (Cole Hamels, Jamie Moyer, Brett Myers, Kyle Kendrick) and a hybrid fifth spot (Joe Blanton was acquired in a trade to replace Adam Eaton) started 158 of Philadelphia's 162 games. The Rays' starting five (James Shields, Scott Kazmir, Matt Garza, Andy Sonnanstine and Jackson) combined for 153 starts.

Want to see The Schilling Theory at work? Here are the only teams in 2008 to get 30 starts from four starters:

1. Phillies (Won World Series)
2. Rays (Won AL pennant)
3. Angels (Won AL West)
4. White Sox (Won AL Central)

Since 2000, 28 teams, or about three per year, were fortunate enough to have four starters make 30 starts. Nineteen of those teams made the playoffs, or 68 percent of them.

Good luck to the Phils and Rays seeing those kinds of numbers again, especially after three rounds of playoff baseball added to the load. Most alarmingly, Hamels threw 79 innings more in 2008 than he did in any other professional season, putting him at great risk of a fallback season. Winning can be costly, and not just as measured by payroll.

One familiar thread of why teams don't repeat has been an attrition factor when it comes to starting pitching. The 2006 White Sox, for instance, allowed 149 more runs than when they won the World Series the previous year, when their starters pitched deep into games through the seventh month of their season. Seven of the past eight defending pennant winners saw a significant increase in runs allowed -- by an average of 84 more runs. The Rays, with their young pitching getting stretched last year, almost certainly will be hit by the same force.

So what you wind up with are not so much teams "on the rise" but more of teams that "pop up" on a one-year basis. (See: 2007 Rockies, 2006 Tigers, 2005 Astros, etc.) Who are those teams this year? One prime guess is the Marlins, whose starting pitching bears the profile of the 2008 Rays. One scout called Josh Johnson "a true ace, one of the best pitchers in the league." (Florida, however, does lack the Rays' defense.) Other surprise candidates: the Indians, chock full of players hitting their prime years; the Rangers, who can accelerate their 2010 arrival if they integrate some young pitching; the Braves, who should be way better than their 90 losses of last season; and even the Royals, who may be one starting pitcher away from contending. The gap between the eight playoff teams and the next eight teams that don't make the playoffs is so small now that many of the spots become interchangeable.

It's easy this time of year, because of the headlines, to think that a steroid cloud hangs over baseball. Alex Rodriguez got around to admitting to being a serial drug cheat. (Interestingly, Peter Gammons told ESPN ombudsman Le Anne Schreiber that, based on conversations with Rodriguez the day before the interview, "I got the impression he was going to say whatever he tested positive for in 2003 was related to prescription drugs he had taken for a back injury in spring training.") Also, Miguel Tejada admitted to lying about steroids in baseball, Kirk Radomski published the manual on supplying drugs to ballplayers, Barry Bonds is headed to trial for lying to a grand jury about steroids, Roger Clemens remains under investigation for his own statements in front of Congress about steroids, the 2003 list of players who tested positive in survey testing may become public and five of the top 12 home run hitters of all time and two-thirds of all MVP awards from 1995-2003 have been linked to performance enhancers. But it's important to remember that what is going on here is the cleanup from that storm, the discovery and cataloging of a dirty era. The headlines do not reflect current events.

Those headlines, however, are important and attention-grabbing enough to divert from the competitive balance at work in today's game. Remember, the top three spenders last season -- the Yankees, Tigers and Mets -- all went home instead of to the playoffs despite spending a combined $485 million.

So baseball in 2009 is not just about steroids or the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry. It's about how long Phillies closer Brad Lidge can remain perfect; how long the Pirates can remain losers even in this new democracy; how the first full season with limited instant replay might affect the pennant race (only two of the seven instances last year reversed an umpire's call); how the three best teams in baseball just might be in the same division (the AL East); how Price and Orioles catcher Matt Wieters may be as good as advertised; and how the Mets respond to the ghosts of Septembers past.

On the penultimate day of the 2008 season, the Mets found this message written on their clubhouse whiteboard: "Never let yesterday take up too much of today. It's time to be a MAN. Johan."

Not even Johan Santana, philosopher and left-hander, who pitched a three-hit shutout that day on three days of rest with a knee that would require surgery, could drag the Mets into the playoffs. But his message remains pertinent to the Phillies and Rays. What they accomplished yesterday only makes today a greater challenge.

Beardy

2009-02-19T21:09:00.001-08:00

Kyle Davies. Rockin a sweet face warmer. Guts. You got 'em, kyle.

Where there is Thunder there is Lightning...

2009-02-18T10:42:00.000-08:00

MOUNTAIN LIGHTNING!

http://www.morningsun.net/archive/x833715676/Columbus-family-copes-with-child-s-genetic-disorder

Dr. Thunder knows no limits to calling people out on their baloney!

SOPOPER!

Stop the Presses---New Mom's Basement Mascot Found!!!

2009-02-17T14:31:00.001-08:00

I'm at work right now. But believe me, when I get home I'm going to tear this guy, his stupid fucking column, his piece of shit baseball team, his cat scruffy, basically everything about this fuckhead apart.

I can't fucking stand people who have no idea what they are talking about trashing my beloved Royals. And for god's sake, a fucking PIRATES fan???? I didn't even know that species existed any more.

FUCK YOU DOUCHE!! Mark my words, you are Dr. Thunder's #1 enemy from this point forward. It's one thing for a Royals fan to badmouth the team when they're frustrated, but this is a call for all out war.

Saddle up, Hapless Royals fans, we're taking this one all the way. Be on the lookout for a rant on this super douche this evening.

http://piraterevolution.com/2009/02/pirates-draft-hanley-ramirez-eric-hosmer-as-mlb-contracts-marlins-royals.html

5 biggest Douches in Major League Baseball

2009-02-16T19:19:00.000-08:00

1. Francisco Rodriguez

2. Manny Ramirez

3. A. J. Pierzynski

4. Miguel Tejada

5. Scott Boras

Take that!

2009-02-12T21:59:00.000-08:00

So A-Rod did steroids

2009-02-10T14:07:00.000-08:00

Big fucking deal. I just don't see why everyone is making such a big stink over this.

I wouldn't be surprised at all if over three quarters of major league baseball did steroids between 1995 and 2006. There is apparently 103 more names on the list that A-rod was on. I'm sure there was a couple hundred more not tested that would have been positive, and a couple hundred more that were tipped off or had masking agents in their body.

It's my belief that this is a big headhunting expedition. So out of 104 names, A-Rod's is the ONLY one leaked. I find that hard to believe. Out of 104 names the ONLY one leaked to that bull dyke looking bitch.

Plus, what the fuck is that ugly bitch's problem? Your "sources" broke the law. That was a CONFIDENTIAL report that was not only not supposed to be released, but DESTROYED as well.

So while everyone is pointing the finger at A-Rod, I'll point the finger at that cunt. You are trying to ruin this man's name, whether or not his name was already good or bad. This certainly doesn't help. All you are doing is getting your 15 minutes of fame as the bitch that reported A-Rod as a juicer. You are certainly not shying away from any interviews now are you, dyke. Go ahead and soak it up, dummy, because in 2 years no one will remember you, or your shitty reporting. Of course everyone will remember the fact that A-Rod did steroids for a couple of years in the early 2000's (LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE IN BASEBALL), but no one will remember YOU.

So before everyone goes all churchy on me saying he violated the game or cheated, or broke the law, let me ask you this. Have you ever exceeded the posted speed limit in your car? Have you ever rolled through a stop sign? Have you ever drank a beer before your 21st birthday? Guess what. That shit is all ILLEGAL! So stop jonesing on A-Rod and let the man be. He did something wrong, but at the very least, he at least admitted to it! (I'm talking to you Mcgwire.)

Sometimes it seems like people don't have anything better to do than fuck with people. Hey news outlets, leave this to the sports guys and report something worth reporting for once. How many Australians are dead or homeless this week because of the fires? No one knows because the fucking news media is cumming all over this A-Rod story. And you, Congress, you better fix the fucking economy before I hear shit about steroids in baseball. Millions of people are losing their homes (granted, they're the ones STUPID enough to sign an adjustable rate mortgage) and millions more are out of work. But yet, the lead "breaking news" story on the top of foxnews.com yesterday was fucking A-Rod.

Wake up, America!

The chin-strap beard

2009-02-09T21:30:00.000-08:00

What a fucking waste. The chin-strap beard? No goatee, no mustache, just weird long sideburns that connect under your chin? WHY, GOD, WHY?

Who decided this was cool? When have women folk swooned over this atrocity?

Why does it bother me so much? I just want to punch every d-bag I see with this smeared turd on their face.

Vote for the new Mom's Basement Mascot

2009-02-09T20:03:00.001-08:00

Steve

Carl

Phil

Kyle

Rhonda

Jamey Dall

Donalt

Kevin

Vote in the comments section.

Wanted: New Mascot

2009-02-08T22:23:00.000-08:00

I need a new mascot for the prototypical "Mom's Basement". The picture I used was of an actual real person. I found it on google image search, but the real guy asked me to take it down, so I obliged. Sorry, dude.

Send me a link to who you think should be the new poster boy for "Mom's Basement" should be.

The usual suspects

2009-02-06T16:36:00.000-08:00

You know what really pisses me off? I get so fucking tired of some of these guys on the Royals Message boards. Not all, just a few in particular. The way they go about things really pisses me off.

These douchebags will post and post and post and post on anything negative on the forums. The Royals signed Willie Bloomquist, whaa whaa, whaa, what a waste. 9 Million for Farnsworth? Too much boo hoo. Mike Jacobs, he sucks! And so on and so forth. Now, that alone doesn't piss me off. What does is when someone actually posts something POSITIVE about the Royals, the usual suspects are no where to be found.

Just this week on RoyalBoard there was a thread started about cheering for the Royals. Pretty much everyone who normally posts spoke up. But then there were "the usual suspects" as I like to call them. They never said a word. Not one. Zero. Zilch. Nada. Now, I didn't post either, but I'm more of a random lurker. I only post 2 or 3 word sentences like " Yeah, totally" or "Not gonna Happen".

But these ass clowns will make a thread about signing Willie Bloomquist into a 7 page monologue about how its the ruination of American society. And on top of that, there was a thread on signing Greinke long term. Go check it out. The first 3 or 4 pages are all "Yeah, right on" and "I forgive you Dayton Moore" but then the usual suspects show up and it become an 8 page diatribe on how the Royals Management still sucks and no one in the universe besides them are smart enough to see the trades and signings THEY think the Royals should make.

Listen. If the Royals thought Delmon Young or Adam Dunn or Raul Ibanez or whoever could truly help this team and the Royals could pull it off, THEY WOULD. This isn't Allard Baird and his cronies running the show anymore. There's a new Sheriff in town, and he's righting a ship that's sailed the wrong way for a really long time.

These idiots scour the farm systems of every other team in baseball and find the one or two guys they think the Royals need to trade for. Not only are the Royals not gunna do it, but the Team with that player, PROBABLY WOULDN'T TRADE FOR THE JUNK WE HAVE TO GIVE ANYWAY. Give it a fucking rest. And don't get me started on the guys in our farm system being "held back" by John Buck and Ross Gload. There's probably a pretty good reason we signed these guys to a minor league contract, or picked them up on waivers. Number 1, they haven't shown anyone in there former team they merit sufficient playing time, or the guy we have is good enough for now, and if you really, I mean REALLY tear it up in AAA, you'll get your shot. Eventually. Plus, we need these guys in AAA, so if a MLB guy gets hurt, we have immediate help just up the road in Omaha. If we had it the usual suspect way, we'd get rid of Buck and Olivo, and go with House and Pena as our 2 catchers. Well, what if one of them gets hurt? Who's going to come up then? Matt Tupman? Yeah, I'd much rather have Matt Tupman as the backup to the backup to the backup if all else fails solution. You people don't think, you just run off at the mouth.

Spring training starts in a week or so! Enjoy.

Dr. Thunder

Offseason Boredom

2009-01-28T21:49:00.000-08:00

I'm really getting cabin fever this offseason. There's just not alot left to talk about. The early trades and signings has been beaten like a dead horse. Spring training starts in a couple of weeks, and I can't wait.

I might drive out to Surprise one weekend during spring training. I have a friend that lives in Phoenix that would put me up for the night. Spring training games just don't have the same feel as the real thing. But I haven't seen my buddy in almost year, so maybe I'll go.

One thing I've been thinking about was how none of the Royals players really have nicknames. Sure, Soria is the "mexicutioner" and Crisp is "Coco", but that's about it. My wife christened Billy Butler "Fat Baby" so that's what we call him around the house. My 7 year old would yell " YAAAAYYY its FAT BABY" whenever he came up to bat. I dunno though, it just seems like not many ballplayers have nicknames on any team, let alone the "hapless" Royals.

I read big league stew's article on kauffman stadium today. It was a nice article, but I would have held off on the review until the renovations are complete. I hear people will hardly recognize it this year. I won't be able to get out there until early August, so, we'll see. I will be catching the series in Anaheim in June. Anaheim is a shithole stadium, but they're fans are nice as hell to visiting fans. Well, maybe just the Royals, we're not really they're competition. Last year people gave me thumbs up and complete strangers struck up conversations with me about how I became a Royals fan, as most figured I was a native Californian who happened to be a glutton for punishment being a Royals fan.

I want to get out to Dodger Stadium again this year. I went to games in Anaheim and San Diego last year, but it's been since 2004 I got out to LA. Day games only, though. Chavez Ravine isn't exactly a friendly place after dark. I went to a game in Phoenix a couple of years ago. I didn't like it, it seemed weird playing indoors, like accidentally seeing 2 men kiss. Something just doesn't feel right about it. But it was better that they closed the roof, it was probably 115 degrees outside.

You guys are lucky to be able to go see the Royals whenever you want. I miss it. I lived in Kansas from birth until I was 18 but only got to go to one game a year when our little league team went. Then I lived in Manhattan from 2000 to 2002 and only went to 5 or 6 games that whole time. But then again, they weren't exactly setting the world on fire or anything.

You know what is fun though? Arena League Football. Man I used to go to AF2 Wichita Stealth games every Saturday. Front row tickets for $10, just get there early. I caught 2 balls in one game one time.

My wedding anniversary is not this weekend but next. I told my wife I was taking her to a LA Clippers game, just for laughs. Funny thing is, now I kinda want to go. Clippers games aren't bad, hell Staples Center is usually only about a quarter full for them. Don't go to a Lakers game though, ugh, $100 for nosebleed tickets.

Well, I'm done rambling. Enjoy the following video:

Dr. Thunder

Comment Moderation

2009-01-28T10:09:00.000-08:00

All comments will have to be approved by an administrator prior to being posted. I will not deal with racist comments and they have been deleted. You must also have a google account to comment here. The guy with the crazy name who hates me- You are allowed to post here and your comments will be approved as long as they are not racist and you have a real identity.

The adventures of Mom's Basement...

2009-01-27T16:00:00.000-08:00

If only....

K. Thx. Bai.

Oh Happy Day!!!

2009-01-26T11:15:00.000-08:00

ROYALS SIGN ZACK GREINKE TO A FOUR-YEAR CONTRACT
Greinke's 3.47 ERA was the lowest since Kevin Appier's 3.40 mark in 1997(AP)
The Kansas City Royals have signed right-handed pitcher Zack Greinke to a four-year contract through the 2012 season. The 25-year old right-hander went 13-10 with a 3.47 ERA in 32 starts in 2008. He set career highs in nearly every category, including innings (202.1), strikeouts (183) and quality starts (23). His 183 strikeouts tied teammate Gil Meche for the fifth-most in the American League. Greinke's 3.47 ERA was the lowest since Kevin Appier's 3.40 mark in 1997 among Royals pitchers who qualified for the ERA title.

This is the single greatest news of the off-season. I am ecstatic. What a good day to be a Royals fan!

Soria and now Greinke. Who wants to be next? Butler? Gordon? Aviles?

If you want to debate me...........

2009-01-26T09:56:00.000-08:00

At least try using a real username, one that is linked with a profile or at least some kind of info. Here is what I see today:

z.fQqJMfotW4kYa6zR0_m1wB6pDcjhJzrRNMoKREpg-- said...
So, are you proud that you don't understand baseball stats beyond what's on the back of a baseball card? I guess you ridicule what you don't understand. You probably don't understand advanced particle physics either. Are they just a bunch of mother's basement idiots makin' up shit too? Ignorance is fun, isn't it?

Exactly what the fuck is that? Ar you really to chickenshit to make a profile page? Is it that hard? Grow some balls, hero.

Now, I won't delete anything unless its racist, so you can post here all you want. But try to at least fight like a man. I have a feeling I know who this is, and yes you are the basic of all basic Mom's Basement.

So come on back and argue, just let the world see your identity. Or are you too big of a pussy?

I need a translator

2009-01-25T22:28:00.000-08:00

What the fuck does this mean:

You have no idea what you're talking about. The offensive stats are based on wRAA which is derived from wOBA and plate appearances. It also factors in defense, which is extremely underrated.

This is the kind of shit I'm talking about. They might as well be talking jibberish.

I envision the person that wrote this looks like this:

Who grew up to be this guy:

Over Dunn

2009-01-25T20:46:00.000-08:00

Good Grief. If I see another fuckwad on RoyalBoard complaining about the Royals spending all this money on junk, while Adam Dunn is still a free agent, i'll shoot myself.

Stop all the fucking Adam Dunn love. He's SHIT. Period.

Whaaaa, Whaaaa, Whaaaaa, Adam Dunn's still available. I'm gonna cum I love him so much, whaaaa, whaaaa, whaaaaa.

SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The dude does not fit on this team. No matter what we do, he doesn't fit here. He sure as fuck can't play center, and we alrady have Crisp. LF and RF, Taken, compliments of Guillen, Teahen, Dejesus, and Maier. 1B, DO WE NOT HAVE ENOUGH 1st BASEMEN? DH? SEE FUCKING FIRST BASE.

Plus, he has red hair. RED HAIRED GINGER RAT!! GINGER's ARE EVIL!!!!!!

If we HAVE to spend some extra money, get more pitching!!!

All of the Dunn love, must stop!

AAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Part two: The Position Players

2009-01-25T19:50:00.000-08:00

Here we go with part two. Starting with:

John Buck- You looked a lot better with hair. Let's not shave it off again. Try to learn how to throw to second without bouncing it 3 times.

Miguel Olivo- You do nothing for me. I like your fearlessness in charging the mound. make sure you clock somebody next time.

Brayan Pena- I heard you got fat. Not good. Yeah, I just looked at your picture, you're chubby. Why do you have an extra "a" in your name? Was Bryan really that hard to spell?

Mike Aviles- You have a sweet batting stance. I heard you signed for a $1000 bonus after the draft. That's funny. The Army would have given you more. Keep playing hard and you'll here nothing but compliments from me.

Willie Bloomquist- Super Willie, man of destiny. You will succeed here. It worked for Raul Ibanez.

Alberto Callaspo- A DUI? Seriously? What the FUCK were you thinking. Hire a fucking driver. Try not to beat your old lady, ok?

Esteban German- I have no use for you. You do nothing great, but do a lot of things ok. Normally I'm cool with that, but you gotta go.

Ross Gload- See my post on this topic from last week. The church of Gloadology is in full swing.

Alex Gordon- So far your biggest accomplishment is a super valuable error rookie card. Let's try to make that card a little more valuable this season. Grow your hair back out, mullet style.

Mike Jacobs- If you can hit 32 hrs as a Marlin, surely you can do it as a Royal.

Kila Ka'aihue- I can't spell your name without looking it up. You walk a lot. You hit a lot of homers last year. Impress me in spring training and you got a job.

Mario Lisson- Mario who? See you in double A.

Tony Pena- You are quite possibly the worst MLB shortstop at batting I've ever seen. You are incredibly useful as a 9th inning defensive replacement. I wish the AL would let us use the DH for anyone and let the pitcher bat and you can just play the field.

Ryan Shealy- You are huge. You swing the bat like it weighs 600 pounds. S_L_O_W. See you on the waiver wire.

Shane Costa- You are the epitome of a AAAA player. You are not my buddy.

Coco Crisp- I like you. I will enjoy watching you this year. Thank you for being a friend. travel down the road and back again. Your heart is true, you're a friend and a confidant.

David Dejesus- I refer to you simply as Dee-Gee-sus. You belong here. Stamp of approval.

Jose Guillen- You and me are alot alike. Its cool to call your teammates babies. They fuckin deserved it. Keep on keepin on.

Mitch Maier- I was at the game where you almost robbed the HR then it rolled along the top of the wall. You will remain my favorite Royal until something tops that. Keep the face guard on too, it reminds me of Terry Steinbach.

Mark Teahen- If you win the 2b job i will like you even more. You win the team player award. That Texas rangers shortstop could learn a lot from you. But, you sure are ugly as hell. I mean come one, did you get a frying pan to the face? Chicks refer to you as a male "butterface".

Billy Butler- Or as I like to refer to you, "Fat Baby". You're really young. You smile alot. Lose some weight, chubby. Learn to play the field, basically you are the bizzarro Tony Pena. If we combined your's and TPJ's powers we'd be left with a slick fielding, power hitting, MVP caliber player, and the shit left over, like Danny Devito in Twins.

JR House- You seem intriguing. Didn't you QB in college a couple years ago? Give it your all in Spring Training and we'll go from there.

Chris Lubanski- Way to live up to the hype, there Christopher.

Well, there you have it. The position players. Enjoy!

DR Thunder

Herm Edwards - YOU'RE FIRED!!!

2009-01-25T19:46:00.000-08:00

I suppose it was no shocker. After Pioli let Gunther Cunningham walk you knew the ax was coming for Herm. Edwards was an odd choice in the first place. He was a loser in New York for the Jets and finished five years there with a losing record and squandered the foundation Parcells had left. The Chiefs gave up a draft pick to get a coach who was likely going to be fired anyways. And he had no success and likely finished as the losingest coach in Chiefs history. I can't understand why they'd hire a guy more famous for running backwards on a treadmill than for winning ball games. And so it begins. KC has a history of stupid moves. I can't imagine they'll pick up one of the big names, Shanahan, Gruden, Cowher, etc. Nor would I recomment it. However, It will probably be some head slapping mistake as usual. But something tells me they'd have been better off letting Herm finish his final year and seeing if his young team was buying his Kool-Aid. I don't think it was all his fault because the team was due for a talent implosion so starting over wasn't horrible. Thinking Brody Croyle has an ounce of NFL talent or athleticism was a horrible mistake. I suppose the Chiefs have nowhere to go but up from here.

PS. To all the idiots suggesting that Parcells is on his way due to his association with Pioli...you're our of your fucking mind. Why would old man Parcells leave his sweet gig in Florida to come freeze his ass off trying to pull the Chiefs out of the dumpster? No way in hell he returns to coaching. He's done. And certainly not to the Kansas City Chefs. Might as well be chefs, can't play worth a crap.

What I think of the Royals roster: THE PITCHERS

2009-01-25T15:38:00.000-08:00

So here I will reveal my true feeling on every member of the 40 man roster. Some may surprise you. Some won't. Either way, here we go:

Pitchers

John Bale- I don't like you, John Bale. You're an idiot. This team paid you millions of dollars last year to sit on the bench because you punched a door because you were mad. If I were you, I'd get one of those glass cases to put your hand in like David Duchovney wore in Zoolander.

Brian Bannister: You think too much. Stop thinking and throw the damn ball.

Henry Barrera- I have no idea who you are

Kyle Davies- Old school guy, not afraid to get your hands dirty and do a hard days work. Throwback player and good guy.

Kyle Farnsworth- I'm glad you'll be fighting FOR the Royals this year and not body slamming our pitchers

Jimmy Gobble- I just need one breakout season so your fans will start dressing up in Turkey costumes at the games. Come on Jimmy, do it for me.

Zack Greinke- Stop dreaming of being a hitter. Realize the Royals were good to you when you lost your marbles and left the team. Have some damn pride in the organization. Realize your potential and sign long term at a discount. You owe the fans that after walking out on us.

Luke Hochevar- Why did we take you #1 overall? You're not worth it. We got hosed. You had better start playing like a #1 pick or you'll be on my Zack Greinke list.

Devon Lowery- You look like a nice kid. Needed a stronger showing in September.

Ron Mahay- Captain Cool. Nice Hair. Good Attitude. Get your foot fixed and lead us, Ron.

Gil Meche- The 55 Dollar Man. 1st decent free agent to sign with KC in over 10 years. Thank you, Gil.

Neal Musser- See John Bale, I remember you did that shit too. I haven't forgot.

Joel Peralta- I don't like you, Joel. I don't like the way you look at Sluggrrr. he's a male lion, you know. Stop undressing him with your eyes. If anything happens to Sluggrrr this year, I know it was you, Joel.

Julio Cesar Pimental- No Juilo Cesar Chavez, that's for sure.

Horacio Ramirez- Do just good enough to get us another minor league filler in trade, please Ho-Ram.

Carlos Rosa- Nice old school delivery. Good selection. Future Look Bright.

Joakim Soria- Although no one will admit it, a better pick in the Rule 5 than Josh Hamilton. Will be the closer in KC for a real long time. Plus, still rockin braces at an advanced age, cool points for that.

Robinson Tejada- Good waiver wire pickup. Nothing bad to say. Does have 2 last names, though.

Doug Waechter- Never seen you pitch before. So I have nothing good or bad to say. If you can somehow keep Joel Peralta off this team, you'll be my new favorite.

Roman Colon- Don't break any one's jaw and don't get fat like your brother and you'll be ok.

Brandon Duckworth- Looks like ECW champion Jack Swagger, good guy to have around for insurance purposes.

Yasuhiko Yabuta- The only guy I want released, NOW. I hate you and your weird skin tight long sleeved shirts. You officially suck.

Luke Hudson- So when the Royals dropped you off the 40 man and you elected free agency, did anyone care? Did you receive even 1 phone call offering a major league job? I figured not. So now you are back. Well, you're not getting a shot, welcome to triple A.

Lenny Dinardo- I can live with you getting a look in the bullpen during spring training. You're decent enough.

Franquelis Osoria- I like your glasses. Don't know anything else about you. Will you give me a reason to?

Oscar Villarreal- You look fat.

So that's that. Check back for the position players in the near future. Which could be tonight, or tomorrow, or 10 minutes from now, or in 2 weeks. You'll never know.

Dr. Thunder

Awwwww, Horse Shit

2009-01-25T14:11:00.001-08:00

Fuck you, Royals Review. NyRoyal you can eat my shit. Minda33 I wouldn't fuck you with Southern Lightning's Dick. Sweep_the_leg your name is ridiculous and you could have picked a better movie to copy it from. Devil_fingers, take the stupid graphs you post all over that site and shove them up your fucking ass.

You pussies want to ban me from your site? I know it was you, NYRoyal, you turd. You don't like what i have to say? I don't fucking care.

You're all a bunch of computer nerd fucksticks with nothing better to do than ban someone who DARES to debate you over the over use of idiotic advanced baseball statistics. You stated your opinions, and I stated mine. You don't like my opinions, so you ban my account. Fascism at its finest, ladies and gentlemen.

I'm sorry that I was the only one to ever post on that site that's ever slept with a woman. Its not my fault your mothers breast fed you until you were 13.

Someone left a post in my comments section stating that " Minda33 is the best looking royals fan to have a blog or post on royals websites". BIG FUCKING DEAL. So by that logic, the fat bitch who happens to be the best looking pig over at the over-eaters anonymous club is hot by all standards? Just because she's the smallest pig in that club DOES NOT mean she's attractive outside of that setting. PERIOD.

Any time one of you Mom's Basement queers wants to debate me, I'm right here. Waiting for you cocksuckers to grow a pair and man-up.

I leave you with this:

Douchebag: Don't Be One.

Dr. Thunder

Shanahan to the Chiefs??

2009-01-23T14:14:00.000-08:00

http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/rumors/post/Shanahan-to-Chiefs-rumor-is-making-the-rounds?urn=nfl,136176

Looks like a possibility.

I like the thought of it, but then again if it were up to me, I'd try to get Schottenheimer back.

Well...letmetellyousomethingbrother!

2009-01-22T22:03:00.000-08:00

DUDE! YOU MUDDAFUCKA YOU!

The off season sucks. I'm a big football fan and the week off between the Conference Championship games and the Super Bowl is so incredibly boring. And after that it's not el beisbol season until April. So what's a brother to do, dude? I'm thinking Battlefield-Bad Company, some guitar playing, and selling some toys off. Then I'll open the eight or nine games I have just sitting on the shelf unopened because of a lack of time. Being a single parent and running my own business really limits my free time. Yet I make it my duty to post something ridiculous for my millions and millions of fans.....or maybe just the one superfan, my mom.

Yeah.....my mom would never read my blog. Nor could she possible understand it.

I was up to 6 TB of hard drive space in my computer (Wikipedia has 5TB, just to illustrate the ridiculousness of my storage capacity) and down to 4.5TB due to a hard drive failure. Luckily I think I salvaged all the data off of it. Which wasn't fun considering I somehow snapped off the black plastic around the wire where the SATA cable plugs in. I can't believe I even got it to work after that. But, I guess I was a bit pissed off when I was removing it due to it's only a week old. Never buy a Seagate HDD. I've had many many many hard drives and the 3 that failed, all Seagate. I had a Seagate 80GB Laptop fail earlier this year and now this stupid 1.5TB one. And it has the "good" firmware on it. Ridiculous. But it's Western Digital for me from now on. Maybe a Hitachi or Toshiba, but no Seagate/Maxtor (same company) for me, EVER again. Brother. Dude. Brother.

No new posts today and probably tomorrow

2009-01-22T20:43:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry there was no posts today and probably won't be any tomorrow unless Southern Lightning blogs. I'm sick as hell. I told my wife it was probably Sars. Or maybe bird flu. Possibly Mad Cow disease. Either way, I leave you with this:

Super Willie: Certified Bad Ass

2009-01-21T22:30:00.000-08:00

I give my personal stamp of approval to the signing of Willie Bloomquist.

He may very well rival Mitch Maier this year as my favorite Royal...... Nah Mitch's still #1.

I like this signing for a lot of reasons but mostly because I believe it signals the end of the Tony Pena Jr era. I mean the team can only carry so many infielders and good gos I hope TPJ is the low man on the totem pole.

This is a "very good" Blog.

2009-01-21T22:24:00.000-08:00

So blogged.com's editors reviewed the site. Here's our ranking;

Show this rating on your blog!
7.0
very good
based on editor's review

Sweet! I figured they'de tell me I had no business letting people peer this deep into my mind.

DARKNESS IS...

2009-01-20T22:08:00.000-08:00

And so it begins. The Obama era. The B.O. Administration. President Obama. I remember when I first took notice of Obama. It was back when he was running for Senate and the guy could talk. I thought, wow, if Colin Powell can't be the first black president, this guy possibly could if people saw past his lack of Washington experience. Of course, at the time I thought he sounded like the Rock and he still does. I had never voted Democrat in my life as I lean right and hate liberalism. But I voted for Obama. I believe in Harvey Dent. And Barack Obama. Times are strange. A black President. US Airways Flight 1549 crashes with no fatalities. Analog TV comes to a close (which, btw, over the air HD looks freaking amazing on my 42" Panny Plasma). Gas hits $4/gallon then drops down to $1.36/gallon. The Arizona Cardinals in the Super Bowl. Hell the Cards in the playoffs was a shocker. The Chiefs are the laughing stock of the NFL. Well, at least they are better than the Rams and Lions.

4 Money Grubbers

2009-01-20T21:42:00.000-08:00

So.... after today 4 current Royals want more money than the front office thinks their worth. Lets make it easy on both sides. I'll decide.

Greinke: Wants 4.4M...Offered 3.4M Decision: 3.4M Try not to cry yourself to sleep, Nancy

Teabags: Wants 3.85M...Offered 3.05M Decision: 3.05M And be damn glad you're not a Washington National

Jacobs: Wants 3.8M...Offered 2.75M Decision: Meet in the middle 3.275M...lets go ahead and both give in and see how you do in the American league then talk after the season

Bannie: Wants 2.025M...Offered 1.45M Decision: 2.025M based solely on the fact you didn't kill anyone this offseason like that crazy fuck we traded for you

So there you have it! Problem solved.

Dr. Thunder